By definition, the word “patience” is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
For most of my generation, patience means little. In my 30’s, I learned that not everything will happen when you demand it, and on your time.
The recent events over the past week has proven again on why “patience” can be irritating and beneficial.
Let’s start with the United States Supreme Court (SCOTUS) decision last Friday striking down the ruling that same-sex marriage are unconstitutional. I laugh when I see people react like fools on both sides of the issue: pastors setting themselves on fire, people changing their Facebook profile to show their picture in the colors of the rainbow, which is the universal symbol for the LGBT community.
I’m not surprised. That’s why we’re humans. We behave in ways that I shake my head in disbelief.
Whatever happen to people like me who saw the news and said “I may agree (or disagree) with it, but I can live with it.”
I said this in 2013 in reference to NBA player Jason Collins: we will come to a point where no one cares about an individual’s sexual preference. The same can be applied to different forms of marriages.
I learn how to adapt, accept it, and go about my day. It’s time for it to happen.
We would going to get to this point anyway, whether we liked it or not.
But let the social media mob run roughshod on just about anything, and you want to quit Facebook to get away from the silliness.
When asked for my opinion of the ruling, I calmly said “That’s nice.”
“What do you mean, ‘That’s nice?!?’ Are you happy about it? What IS YOUR OPINION OF IT?!?!?!”
“I’m cool with it. If you expect me to jump up and down about it, you’re talking to the wrong guy.”
“You mean, you’re not surprised about this? How can you be so calm and passive about this? This is a big deal!!”
“Why in the hell should I be? We were going to get here (with this news) anyway.”
That person wasn’t sure if I was a fire-breathing religious conservative or a bleeding-heart liberal.
It doesn’t matter if I like or reject the ruling. What is important is that I follow the rules, adhere to them, and live my life.
Sadly, for many people I know on Facebook, Twitter, or in real life, that’s not a good enough response from me. They wanted more of my “reaction” to the SCOTUS ruling.
Nice try. That’s my response and I’m sticking to it: calm, sensible, and practical.
I’ve long since stopped making a fuss about many topics, including same-sex issues. I had mentally “accepted” years ago that same-sex marriages should be legal. After all, interfaith marriages and interracial marriages happen everyday. And there are people, liberal or conservative, who are not fans of either of those types of marriages as well.
Moderates, like me, witness historical events and we’re going to roll with it. For better or for worse. Democrats and Republicans lose their proverbial shit about anything that moves on Twitter.
If you let a political party dictate how you feel, I can’t help you there.
We’ve been down this societal road before: smoking, civil rights for minorities, and other events.
Nothing is going to be perfect. Never have…never will, so let’s stop with the Pollyanna narrative as it relates to Friday’s ruling. Same sex couples will divorce, bicker, and go through domestic violence just like heterosexual couples.
Not all marriages are perfect. They take work and patience.
Which brings up the Dixie (Confederate) flag. Now, let me address the shootings in Charleston first. I think it is lazy of us to treat the shooting deaths of nine individuals in a historical African-American church as a secondary item, so we can spend most of our time debating about a flag. The very same flag that was a symbol that we ignored for so long, it’s pretty embarrassing and hypocritical. The shootings and the flag are two vastly separate issues in my opinion. Let’s treat them as such with common sense.
It doesn’t erase the fact that a deranged person who had very dark and sinister racial attitudes walked into a church and opened fire.
Those who quickly brought up the flag moments after the shooting, clearly had an agenda to propagate: get rid of the flag, because it cause the shooter to kill innocent victims.
The flag didn’t cause that individual to kill people. He had his mind set on harming people because he chose to do so.
My take is this: the flag should not be used in a public setting (government buildings, post offices, et cetera). Yes, people are going to display it on their own personal terms. Much like those who will display the Nazi flag, any offensive materials (racist, sexist, juvenile, to name a few), and yes the LGBT flag, along with an Iowa Hawkeyes or ISU Cyclones flag.
We can’t completely eliminate its use. You can thank the 1st Amendment for that.
That’s the way it is. If you want to fly the LGBT flag, you have a right to do that. So does someone who wants to fly a Dixie flag…on their own property.
If anything, negative symbols should remind us of our history and the impact it has caused. This country has a history of great and very ugly moments. To wipe clean of the ugly, is to deny the fact that it happened.
We can’t change the past…but do we really learn from it?
The answer is no, because we hate to learn from history. History doesn’t “wow” us. It’s boring.
History is relevant to how we face moments like now: with clarity or with irrationality. If we don’t learn from history, we’re screwed.
How did America react when President Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964? There were some knuckleheads for sure on both sides, but overall, the majority of Americans knew that it was going to happen. When it did, we accepted it the best way we knew how and we moved on.
The same here with Friday’s ruling: we’ll accept it, like or hate it, but we move on.
The hashtag “love wins” has been used by everyone who is in favor of the ruling. But, I have to ask philosophically, why are we still so hateful towards (immigrants, homeless, handicapped, atheists, etc.) others? It’s pathetic. “Love wins” when it’s for one group, and not all humans. Something is wrong with that. Doesn’t “love” incorporate everyone, including those you disagree with?
Hypocrisy…all of us are guilty of this.
Love only won the battle. It hasn’t won the war.
For every person who wag their scornful finger at the South for continuing to fly the Dixie flag, are they the same people who blindly ignore the various forms of de facto discrimination like housing, employment and institutional racism in the North?
How many minorities live in Beaverdale?
Why are residents who live downtown against having low-income residents living in their buildings? Are they afraid that these “poor people” are going to “trash” these high-end luxury condos? Low-income or restricted-income residents are not always the ones who trash homes and places, driving the property value down.
When we brag about how progressive we are in Des Moines, why does it feel that we continue to ignore and not include certain groups and neighborhoods?
Everyone’s happy that same-sex marriages are legal, and yet we can’t seem to get our shit together. People are ecstatic about same-sex marriages but we give the evil eye to interracial and interfaith marriages.
It has been an interesting week, but I’m not celebrating or booing about the news. I knew that, eventually, it would happen. It was only a matter of time and circumstances.
It was being patient. It can be irritating and yet beneficial.
We were going to get here anyway.