“You know who you are.”

That phrase has been circling in my mind since Christmas.  That line is like an image of a tiny little puzzle piece, with no where to fit into the picture.

I know that I’m human, left-handed, a good listener, and a genuinely nice guy.  I also know that after little over a year in the employment free agency, I may little choice but to return to the very thing that everyone dreads:  cubicle world.  As someone who has worked in a one particular industry for nearly 11 years, the past year has been one of reflection and searching.

The problem is, two fold:  reflecting that I have limited experience in business, social media, marketing, and other things.  The second is that searching for something new, has become a futile crusade, at least that’s what my mind tells me.  I looked at a career in non-profits.  The non-profit world has no room for me.  I investigated possibilities into social media, which I am a fan of.  I don’t have a marketing background.  Without that, I don’t have a box to stand on.  It’s all about showing businesses how to use social media.

What about the consumers and people who use it for other means that are non-business?

I knew that the industry I used to work in was a career that I never felt comfortable in.  But I kept hitting my head against it’s sturdy walls and ended up with a splitting headache and unrealized hopes of advancing.

I’ll be blunt:  networking has been a daunting task.  I worked on making it an advantage for me, but it has devolved into nothing more than a social affair among my peers.  People want to know you as an individual as a means to socialize or discriminate, not as a source to help you get to where you need to go.

Today, I’ve decided to start searching for work in the “old” industry again.  The “old” is what I was doing until late 2009, when I decided that it wasn’t the right place for me.  Despite the efforts to segue into something different, there is nothing out here to fit what I can offer.  It’s seems as though I have to fit what the job is.  Frustrating isn’t the right word to describe when people look at my resume and skills, to be told they have no clue where I would fit in their puzzle, outside of hammering a keyboard telling you my thoughts and feelings every other day.

I just turned 35.  This is the “mid-life” crisis for me.  On that point, the mere idea of a “mid-life” crisis happens throughout our lives, not just in our 40’s.

The term that keep popping up is “late bloomer”.  I finally got around to getting a laptop recently.  Everyone has had one for over 3 years.  I never dated.  Everyone else has or is now starting families.  I finally realized that what I was doing wasn’t the right fit.

But I can’t seem to catch up with everyone else. Where can the odd-looking piece fit on the puzzle?

With trepidation, I’m preparing myself to return to the world that I walked away from.  Not that I want to.  I have to if I’m going to survive out here. I know what I am:  someone who wants to work. It’s wrong to say that, but what else is there to say, beyond being a “Twitter” star and a good guy?

That’s why I’m envious (in a good way) for a fellow twitter colleague.  Someone noticed his passion and his talents.  He landed in a new place.

I have yet to get a hit on the radar screen.  Those chances are running out each day.

Everyone I know have achieved their dreams, the right career, and the lucky breaks.

If I get through one more day, would it be worth it?