Lowering Your “Dating” Expectations

If you want to read more on DSM's dating scene, click on the picture.

Today, my friends at Juice did a cover story on being single in Des Moines.  I could go on a long spiel about being single in this town, but there are two things that deserves to be addressed.

Must-haves and expectations.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Des Moines is what Des Moines is:  not a big dating pool.  What I found astounding is when I read a few of the featured singles “must-haves” and expectations, it’s clear that the under-30 group have restricted themselves to their list.  By doing that, they have shorten their chances of being successful in dating.

“I’m tall (about 5’10”), and I prefer someone who is taller than me.”

-Miriam De Dios’ requirement in Juice, May 19, 2010

What if you can’t find a guy taller than you, or a gal shorter than you?  They could be a great match, but if they don’t qualify on your “list”, they’re eliminated.  No questions asked.

We have high expectations on who we want in a date or potential significant other.  The problem is the expectations in this town is too high.  The higher it is, the more disappointed you will be.

And I’m not the only one who thinks this way. One of our featured singles, Miriam, says of the dating scene, “It’s not so hot. It seems like a lot of the guys just don’t have it together.” Another single, Jayme, says the dating scene is a “huuuuge” reason she’s considering moving away. That is saying a lot.

-excerpt from staff writer Tracie Louck’s article in Juice, May 19, 2010

Is leaving town to find a bigger dating scene going to solve all of our problems?  I would tend to say it’s unlikely.  The dating pool may be larger, but may not result in any quality “hits” on the dating meter.  You’re going to run into the same type of people that you run into here in Des Moines.

We, as singles, need to be more adaptable to our surroundings and lower our expectations on what we want out of dating. Great friend Anthony Marinaro didn’t list “must be taller, got to have blue eyes, or be fabulous.”  His “list” was simple and adaptable.  It’s okay to have a few things on your “list”, but it shouldn’t be so damn restrictive to which you whittle down your chances to zero.

I’m confident Katie Bradshaw of “Dating in DSM” will have plenty of insight on what she sees in the dating world of “Our Town.”

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